Don’t You Know How Much I Love You?

In March of 2000 I was in a car accident that changed my life. I died and stood face to face with Jesus, and I stepped into love Himself! Jesus asked me this question “Valerie, don’t you know how much I love you?’  In that moment all time stood still, as Jesus’ words penetrated every fiber of my being and for the first time in my life I knew that Jesus loved me. He didn’t see all my flaws He saw me beautiful, pure, and righteous. He saw me as His Bride!  

A few years prior to my accident, I questioned the feelings I could no longer deny.  We all know that the challenges of life can take a toll on us!  I didn’t feel worthy of His love. From the time I was a child into my adult hood. It always seemed the bad outweighed the good, so I believed the lie of the enemy, that Jesus didn’t love me and that He had passed me by.  I was full of anger, self-hatred, shame and the list goes on.  I built walls of self-protection. Then, God began digging deep within me. In my anger, I asked Him: “Where were you when I needed You?” The psalms assured me that David hadn’t spared the LORD his raw feelings. They were all out there and they weren’t pretty. 

With each confrontation, more debris came loose in me, as I finally let go and repented of the things that I had carried for so long, and released my pain to the LORD, a new peace followed. The God who seemed so distant had heard me. He was there listening, not wanting me to feel desolate any longer. I drank in His presence and allowed my walls to crumble. Now, I allowed God to love me the way He longed too. My cry was Psalm 51:10 “create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.  When you pray that prayer, know that He is faithful to answer you. Don’t be surprised when the heat is turned up…He wants to purify our hearts and transform us into His image. 

The old Valerie died in a mangled silver Jeep. The new Valerie is secure in the Savior’s love. In the past I thought I had to work at being loved, now I simply receive His love. That is the love I want to share-the love of the heavenly Groom for His Bride.

To share it with those who struggle as I once did-that is my hope, that you will know and experience His love. My life isn’t perfect. Perfection is not possible in this broken world. But for those who love Jesus there is a love and joy that exceeds everything. Yet we can experience His joy and love here NOW! Will you allow Him to love you and will you simply receive it?

And Jesus asks you the same question. ”Don’t you know how much I love you?